Prison Break

Most TV shows from the West are either banned or unavailable here, but if you are enterprising and have a computer, you can watch just about anything from anywhere. Some foreign television programs have a huge, albeit unlikely, following in the Far East.

I cannot figure out why "Prison Break" is one of the most popular foreign TV shows in China. I raised that question with a friend of mine in the States and his reply was, "DUH? Isn't it OBVIOUS?"

I replied that, contrary to reports, the Chinese population is not complaining about living beneath a back-breaking, soul-sucking, uniformity-worshipping dictatorship like The Home Depot. Or North Korea.

The fascination with some guy breaking out of prison apparently has some kind of appeal here. Beijing is, after all, a city of high concrete walls and tall iron gates, but Beijingers like it that way. Every housing complex and private business seems to be surrounded by a wall of some sort, some of them topped by shards of broken glass, as if there wasn't enough money in the construction budget for razor wire. Each place appears to have a gate manned by security guards wearing some sort of military uniform. But when you look at scenes of Chinese history, you find that walls are nothing new here. In fact, they're celebrated as part of the nation's unique character, beginning with the famous Great Wall. Without a wall, you wouldn't have a courtyard for your home. Without a gate, you couldn't stage a fabulous Zhang Yimou movie-style entrance. Without guards, who would fight the invading ninjas?

"Prison Break" star Wentworth Miller has displaced Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps as the most recognized foreign face in Chinese product advertising. But I doubt anyone will produce a Chinese version of "Prison Break" anytime soon. A Chinese man busting out of prison every week probably wouldn't be too popular here. On the other hand, if he spent more time trying to break back into prison, the show might go somewhere.

Surgical Mask

I've read about the concern swine flu is causing in the U. S. But no matter how bad it gets, it is another opportunity for people in the West to learn from China's example and begin wearing surgical masks on a regular basis.

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The masks are very popular -- if you want to really use that term -- in China, but then again, the Chinese have had experience with the SARS epidemic a few years ago. People in Beijing celebrated May Day recently in massive numbers, without fear of H1N1, H2O, the NHL, NHK, NASCAR, or whatever other health-threatening numerical or alphabetical acronysm you could throw at them. It is really no surprise to see dozens of my co-workers wearing the masks, even when there is no crisis afoot. But they are shocked and amazed when I tell them the only American who wears something like that in public is Michael Jackson.

One of my Chinese co-workers was having a serious discussion with me, and I asked her to stop talking for a minute, because I couldn't take her seriously while she had the mask on. It sort-of muffled her voice a bit. So I asked if she was planning to rob a convenience store later on, and if so, could she get me some donuts?

She did not think that was very funny.


But seriously, it is really ironic that the same culture that doesn't care if people spit, poop, piss, and pick their noses in public, and then proceed to blow snot without tissue on the street, would be so careful as to wear surgical masks to protect themselves or their fellow citizens from germs.

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By the way, you can buy cheap paper masks like the ones from the hospital, or cute cotton masks with pictures of Garfield and Snoopy. Just make sure they match the footwear.