Sunday, December 27, 2009

Apology


Something went wrong at work.

It was my fault, but one of my co-workers was convinced that she was in line to take the blame. After all, no one at the company would suggest a foreigner on the staff could be responsible for causing trouble. They would just call-out the Chinese who was standing nearest to the foreigner and make that person suffer. My co-worker was so consumed by anger at this thought that she screamed and yelled at me for two solid minutes, and had to finally be restrained by a small, kindly, older woman in the office. I felt really bad about it. The scene was worse than a walk-off blind date disaster.

I said I would take responsiblity, no problem. But my apoplectic colleague wasn't hearing it. "You don't understand," she pouted. "I must go to the boss and apologize. I will lose face. I could lose my job."

The concept of face is well-known in Eastern social circles. It's been passed down through the centuries in places like Japan, Korea, and China. One must show he or she is properly apologetic for wrongdoing, or the apology is not considered genuine. Appearance and opinion are very important here, just like in an American middle school. This idea creates significant consequences for any kind of personal interaction in the society.
"To risk losing face is unacceptable," I was told. "Everyone knows this."
In the West, I explained, there is no apology in the workplace. There simply isn't time. You admit to the problem, you fix it, you resolve to make sure it never happens again, and then you get on with the work. The End.

With all of the worry and concern over keeping and losing face in China, I sometimes wonder how anything gets done. I decided to keep the concept in mind and avoid any more mistakes. But I am also going to keep that little old lady around, just in case.

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