I went to eat dinner at a very old-fashioned Beijing restaurant. My companion, a young lady who was born and raised in Beijing, explained to me that this restaurant was so traditional that the famous Peking Duck was not even on the menu.
Unlike foreigners who dine in Beijing, most Chinese find only rare opportunities to eat Peking Duck. Most of the time, they're eating at smaller, less-expensive establishments like the one in which we were seated. Restaurants which, my companion explained, do not have the same standard of cleanliness that we enjoy in the West. As if to prove her point, she refused to eat with the wooden chopsticks which the restaurant provided. Once the food arrived at the table, she slowly pulled out her own set of stainless steel chopsticks, which came in four parts. She assembled the chopsticks as carefully and silently as an assassin would put together a high-powered rifle, and only then was she ready to enjoy her meal. This scene left me extremely impressed. I was having dinner with the Chinese Girl from U.N.C.L.E.
I am not ashamed to admit that I am basically clueless when it comes to using chopsticks. Restaruant staffers tend to expect it. After observing my fumbling-around with the 'sticks, someone will usually bring a knife and fork, and plop them down in front of the idiot-foreigner-who-should-not-have-even-showed-up-in-our-country-if-he-did-not-know-how-to-eat-our-food. This was kind of humiliating at first, but I got used to it. If I wasn't so concerned about carrying dangerous weapons around, I would bring my own eating utensils wherever I go in China. It would undoubtedly shock whomever accompanied me to dinner:
Dinner Companion: "Hey. What are you doing?"
Me: "I am getting ready to cut my food. WITH A KNIFE."
DC: "AAAAAH! How barbaric! One eats the pig's intestinal organs with chopsticks only! Everybody knows this!"
Me: "Sorry, but my stomach is learning as we go. Now, where is the ketchup?"
That being said, I really admire anyone who can eat with chopsticks in old Beijing; someone who can manage to look at the food on the plate, grab it cleanly with the 'sticks, and consume the stuff while declaring it utterly delicious. And since you might swear some of the food is still moving when it's brought to your table, knowledge from special weapons training is nice to have, too.
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