Pandas Are People, Too

You don't need to travel all the way to China to discover that giant pandas are awesome. But you need to be here to experience to depth of affection that the Chinese have for these gentle creatures. Giant pandas have been fighting extinction for more than 30 years, and the mainland Chinese have not only kept the species going, but they have managed to turn it into a symbol of peace and goodwill among nations. It's a fact that giant pandas have replaced the ping pong table as the key instrument of Chinese international diplomacy. Once the Chinese offer to send a pair of cute panda to mend fences or establish a new relationship with another country, resistance is futile.

The panda-as-superstars mania is so unusual that it defies logic. I think panda-lovers would put shirts, pants and hats on the animals if they were allowed to. There is one famous case in which a college student climbed a fence in a Chinese zoo and tried to hug one of the pandas. The guy ended up in the hospital, suffering from multiple panda bites. "Yang Yang was so cute, and I just wanted to cuddle him," the student reportedly explained, foolishly brainwashed into thinking that pandas are people, too.

But the real problem is not the alleged propaganda or occasional violence, it is the panda lifestyle of hedonism and laziness. They are not expected to do anything all day, except look cute and eat bamboo leaves. Sort of like supermodels. There's also the aspect of the panda philosophy of breeding. Since the goal at their Sichuan home was to produce more pandas, the male and female are conditioned to take time out from the bamboo-chewing at the drop of a hat and just do-what-comes-naturally. And admit it, that's the part of the supermodel lifestyle which we really want to see.